o wut

Yes, it's been a year since I last updated this blog. To my dedicated readers out there (yes, all 2 of you), I apologize for not keeping this blog up to date. I've been using my private blog for venting. Basically using it as an online diary. Be prepared for an extra long post because you all are interested in my life and love me dearly.

So wow, it's been a year. A lot of things have happened since then. Breaking hearts and going through heartbreaks all over the place. No one wonder I'm so distant and cold nowadays. I used to pretty naive about things, but I prefer being jaded now. It's kinda depressing, but in a way, it's very comforting to feel protected. As in protecting yourself. Wear a condom, bros. cwutididthar? Emo and funny, all in a paragraph. Hot damn, I'm such a catch.

I'm no more motivated when it comes to school than I was last year, but at least I'm progressing through my classes at a rapid pace. It's about time for me to catch up. Most or all of my high school buddies are graduating this year or the next. Selfishness aside, congrats to all of you that have graduated or will be graduating soon. You know who you are. Respect. I should be at state next semester, but I'm seriously reconsidering my major. I've cut my losses with engineering and UCD in general, and I wanted to go into business and finance, but that job market looks terrible at the moment. I believe in you, Obama. Change! I'm really considering a second major or a minor to fall back on. (Well, second fall back. My dream career is to become a professional poker player, and it's slowly getting there. But I digress). History or English, I think. What kind of English or History, you ask? I'll figure that out soon. I just know I enjoy reading and analyzing literature and history. I also enjoy writing immensely. Also, I'm damned sure that I'm burnt out when it comes to math and science. Fuck 'em.

Okay, let's see. I'm trying to figure out what you readers might want to know when it comes to my life. Love life, maybe? I think it's okay for me to delve a little into it. Anyway, nothing serious when it comes to relationships. A little fun here and there, I guess. No shortage in cute girls, especially lately, but damn, you girls are hard to approach. Let me just say this, you girls have it easy. Guys that are not models or rich (i.e. me) actually have to try to get anywhere with a girl. Hardest language I've ever had to learn? Answer: female. Still haven't mastered it yet, and I don't think I ever will. Why are you creatures so frustratingly complicated? Men's needs in order: sleep, sex, food, and weed. Well, maybe just weed for me. If I had those four things at my disposal, I would be happy wearing rags. Fashion? Pffft. Dior Homme? Ann D.? Henrik Vibskov? Raf? Fuck 'em.

Now, the fun part. Friends. In the past year, I've probably met more good friends (excluding my high school gang) than any other year. Saying that, it sounds right. Sure, the friends I met were under conspicuous pretenses and circumstances, but we're friends anyway. Dr. Hugs would like to come give you a hug. Yeah, you know exactly what I'm talking about. I still think I hang out with too many Vietnamese cats though. Honestly, you guys are all fucking gay. Go eat a mountain of dicks. Kick rocks, dudes. Da da, for all you Vietnamese kids. Too lazy to find the right accents, but you get what I mean. But really, thank you for all the good times and hilarious moments. When I get bored or down, I just think back to the one week Halloween party, the raves, or in more recent memory, the fuzz moment/incident/creation. Oh shit, that was last night. Too much party. Too funny. Too fuzzed up.

Hrm, what else is important to you guys? My health, maybe? I'm overall pretty healthy. I've been doing daily hand exercises. Sometimes twice a day. cwutididthar? Seriously though, nothing about my health really. Everyone keeps saying I look skinny, but fuck you guys. I can't fit into my tite cluthez without being skinny. I feel beautiful when I'm skinny. I have an eating disorder? No, you have an eating disorder. Deny and counter-accuse. Best trick in the book. I just do drugs to stay slim. Could be my metabolism too. Who knows? I just know my scale says I weigh 10 pounds less than what I did last year. Go me. I still smoke a little more than I would like, but at least I stopped smoking menthols. I didn't believe it at first, but those fuckers are bad for you. I've since switched to reds, and I'm noticeably more long of breath now. Or whatever the opposite term for 'short of breath' is. I wake up in the morning without feeling a heaviness in my chest. Now, I only smoke menthols when I'm sick. They clear out my sinuses pretty gud.

Ova da het. It's my busssday. On Fuzzday. Thursday? Du ma. Feel sooo guuud. Okay, that's enough and I'm running out of things to say. If you got this far in the post, congratulations. It means you are deeply in love with me, and want to make love to me. I don't blame you. I'm pretty sexy.

Until next time,
-M

p.s. Do any of you guys notice that you do this too? I'm talking about typing correctly with proper capitalization and grammar in some things, but not in other things. Like, I type properly in e-mails and blogs, but not so much in chats, IMs, texts, and other things. Weird, huh?

p.p.s. I would now like to called Lieutenant Fuzz. If the next time you see me and you call me Lieutenant Fuzz, you get brownie points. Once you get enough brownie points you can redeem them for secret prizes. So, either Lieutenant Fuzz or L-T Fuzz. That's ELLE TEE FUZZ. Lt. Fuzz out.